It's A Dog's Life
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Meet Tater Tot, David Rossi's newest pet! Part of the Mudgie & Magpie series. Written in response to Challenge 13 - The Dog Days of Summer on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum.


_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

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**Written for Challenge 13 - The Dog Days of Summer on Chit Chat on Author's Corner. Prompts were: Pet Owner: David Rossi; Pet name: Tater Tot; Pet Type: Pomeranian! And the story had to be written from the point of view of the pet!**

**A Dog's Life**

Staring around at my surroundings morosely, I lowered my head to my paws in shame.

Tater Tot. Tater. Freaking. Tot.

They'd...or more specifically, HE'D allowed it to happen, I thought glaring at the tall, dark haired man bouncing my new mistress on his knee. If I'd known that simply eating a snack that had been dropped on the floor was going to earn me a moniker that already had my two roommates snickering at me behind their tails, I'd have left the stupid thing on the floor by her high chair.

But, no...I had to be greedy and yap happily while David freaking Rossi, aka my own worst enemy, had named me, his only darling daughter's brand spankin' new puppy…Tater Tot.

Man, I was sooooo gonna be chewing on those leather loafers of his soon. Maybe the snakeskin boots, too.

"So, how's it hanging, Taaattterrr! Did your tots drop yet?" my new brother asked as he ambled toward me, sniffing my ass curiously.

"Very funny," I yapped, my fur rising as I glared at the animal everyone called Mudgie over my shoulder. He was a dog like me, but bigger. Much, much bigger. And I'm not ashamed to say, I might have a little size envy going on inside me. It didn't seem fair that he'd gotten the brawn when it was obvious I had all the brains.

"Oh, look, Mudgie," the feline that resided with us sniffed as she passed on her way to the sofa. "He's got little dog syndrome. Don't worry, Tot...I'm sure you'll grow into a bark. Maybe. Eventually Or not," she purred, her eyes evil as they seemed to settle on me.

"Leave the new kid alone, shitty kitty," Mudgie ordered with a low growl, his ears pointing oddly. "You're still jealous that they didn't choose a kitten."

"Well, this house certainly didn't need another slovenly, drooling male in it," she meowed.

"Hey," I yipped again indignantly, my little body shaking. "I don't smell!" I growled, lifting my leg over my head and sniffing my own butt just to check.

"Look," Magpie mewed facetiously, "He's proving my point. This had to be your daddy's idea. Mummy would never choose a pet so ill-advised."

"For the seven thousandth time, it's MASTER. WE...dogs...have masters!" Mudgie woofed before offering me a sidelong look. "Ignore her, Tater. She's just jealous," Mudgie advised on a yawn, flopping on his belly beside my new doggy bed...a pink one, by the way.

I was a boy, doggone it!

"Why?" I couldn't resist asking the older canine as he began to settle in for another nap. Seriously, shouldn't a big dog have MORE energy than me? I was always raring to go...ready to chase a ball or frisbee. Or piss in the feline's water bowl...

"Our lady Magpie thinks our kind are beneath her," Mudgie yawned again, scraping his paw over his ear.

"Really?" I said, glaring at the cat staring imperiously down at us. She didn't seemed very impressed by my stare, I must admit.

"Uh huh," Mudge answered, thumping his tail against the floor. "Is it time for a nap?"

"No!" I whined, but the big hunting dog already had his eyes closed, soft snores escaping his snout.

Dang it! I needed information here and I seriously doubted the cat believed in sharing.

Twitching my tail from side to side, I sighed. Just my luck. Here I was, fully prepared for a name like Killer...or Fang...or maybe even Cujo...and I get stuck with Tater Tot. Couldn't these people see that I had the soul of a lion living in this tiny little body?

Well, true, the lion was technically a cat, but you see my point, right?

This ridiculous name was going to follow me for life. I could already hear the other doggies in the park giggling. Oh, the indignity.

"Tay To'!"

I heard my name called as the small child that had had the good taste to choose me at the local Animal Shelter ran into the room.

"'Dere you are!"

"Oh, sweet heavens, it's the tiny human," Magpie meowed from her perch on the couch, pressing a paw to her feline face.

"Hey, leave 'er, alone," I barked, baring as much of a fang as a Pomeranian such as myself was allowed.

"Ohhhhh, scarry!" Magpie mocked with a small hiss. "Such big teeth you have," she sneered.

"Hey, they may be little but they're razor sharp," I informed her, jumping up on the couch to nip her tail. Nothing like a firsthand demonstration to make a point. The bulldog at the pound had taught me that when he'd pissed on a particularly mouthy poodle's head.

"BEASSSTTTTT," Magpie hissed, batting me with one clawless paw.

Dancing around the sofa, I jeered, "Sucks to have no fang or claw, don't it? KItty, kitty don't got no game!"

"MUD-GGGIIIEEEEE," Magpie yowled, craning her neck over the arm of the sofa.

"Wh-aaaattttt?" Mudgie whined, cracking one eyelid to look at us.

"This Tot needs to learn his assigned place in the food chain," she spat as my new mistress danced around my feet, her tiny hands trying to catch me.

"Come on Tay Tot," Ari announced happily, "It time for your baff," she informed, her little hands finally wrapping around my wriggling puppy body.

"What? What'd she say?" I yelped to my roommates. "What's a baff?" I asked, frantically squirming for freedom but finding myself firmly ensnared by two octopus arms that were surprisingly strong for a four year old.

"Uh oh," Mudge grunted, raising his head from his paws, his tone telling me that the worst was obviously yet to come.

"Oh, it's a delicious little experience," Magpie purred as my small mistress lugged my reluctant body toward the door. "One whereby you're dunked in a sink full of water and then thrown into a nifty little dryer and put on spin cycle."

""What?" I cried with a particularly loud yelp. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a dryer..and why would it spin?

"I do hope you enjoy the pink bow and collar she has chosen for you, Tot," Magpie meowed, offering me that oh-so-superior curl of her whiskers.

"Mudgie, help!" I yelped with a croaking bark just as Aribella decided that I needed to be thrown over her shoulder.

Cocking his head at me, I heard his warning clearly. "You'll learn soon enough, Tot...it's every dog for himself in this house. Good luck, furball!" he barked.

And closing my eyes as we disappeared around the corner, my eyes gazed longingly toward the front door as my mistress climbed the stairs.

The Rottweiler at the pound had been right.

It really was a dog's life.

Finis


End file.
